When you feel anger, resentment or find yourself whining or complaining, that is a sign that you need to set a boundary. In other words, these feelings and actions are a sign that someone has crossed a healthy boundary.
Once you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, get angry or apologize. Simply state “I’m not comfortable with ….”(insert the upsetting situation, word(s), or behavior, etc.).
Remember that you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction. You are only responsible for communicating your desired boundary respectfully.
Expect that some people will attempt to control, abuse, or manipulate you. Remain calm and firm. Do not apologize.
At first you may feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed setting a boundary. Do it anyway. You have a right to self-care.
Do not let anxiety or low self-esteem prevent you from setting boundaries. Setting boundaries will decrease anxiety and boost self-esteem.
Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. Practice setting them as soon as you identify the need to do so.
Develop a support system of people who respect your right to set boundaries.
Eliminate toxic people from your life. You will know by how you feel if the person or their behavior is toxic as they will try to manipulate you, abuse you or control you.
Enforcing healthy boundaries allows you to be your authentic self with confidence!
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT! TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF IF AT FIRST THIS IS CHALLENGING. CHANGING OUR BEHAVIOR TAKES TIME AND SELF-AWARENESS. YOU CAN DO THIS!
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